The Woman I Am TodayIt seems as if this day, of all days...I leave behind my childhood,so much of my innocencehas been shed in the lessonsI've learned along the way.A turning point, the cusp betweenbeing thought a child and an adult.Looking back, I see everything,all that brought me to this point.All the steps, all the trials,things magical and things ungainly.My triumphs and my failures,these are what make me the woman I am today.What lies ahead of me,is still shrouded in mystery.I may know what I want,I may know how to get there,but the journey will not be easy.Some friends will fall by the wayside,and new ones will step forward.Things will change, and perhaps...some will stay the same.Only time will tell what lies ahead,as I step through the doorway,leaving behind the irresponsibility of my youth,and start to shoulder the mantle of adulthood.My thoughts, my words, my deedswill all begin to carry more weight nowamong my elders as I show themhow much I have matured.As I beco
False FriendshipWith one hand, you feed me...My dreams,my desires,everything I ever wanted.Small pleasures,wrapped up,in pastries and sweets.Fizzy drinks of a heady nectar,freedom and love,wound tight in every word.With the other hand,you take everything away.That silver platter dissolvinginto nothingness.All your promises for naught.I look up at you,completely baffled,distraught,beyond disappointed.How can you offereverything you know I crave,everything you know I need,everything you know I wanted...Only to sweep it away,and pretend you never offeredme anything...?Is that what friendship is to you?Is that what love is to you?To offer empty dreams and destroy them?
StressThe unbearable weight,it crushes me,holds me down under it.I try to stand, to rise,only to fall to my knees once more.I feel as if someone sweptmy feet out from under me.And there's no one to help me,no hand reaching,no arms holding me up.Feeling so alone,even among a crowd of friends.It's not right, I shouldn't feelthis way, this trapped.It's almost as if I were stuck,sealed in a coffin, the dirt holding me in.I'm unseen, unheard.Trying to be the strong one,when all I want to do is break down.To cry and sob and scream,to let everything out.For once, I want to be the weak one,not the crutch everyone leans on.I want to be the one protected,not the protector, the bearer of burdens.When is it my turn to be free,to be weak, to cry, to feel?
Harvest RitualLeaves fall all about me,the cue for autumn.We've gathered the golden grain,we've gathered the ripe apples.The grain's been milled,so tonight's breadwill be the freshest.The cider is pressed,fresh and tangy,tonight we serve it,hot and mulled with spice.Everything's in place,it must be perfect.This night only comesbut once a year.And so I've lit the lantern,I've called the corners.The circle is closedas I lean back,yelling out my thanksto the Motherfor another bountiful harvest.A celebration of her gifts,the ritual of the harvest.
Living In The PastIt still seems so real to me.All I have to do is close my eyes.And I can hear your laugh,the soft words youused only with me.The little growl in your voice.Our song plays behind me,reminding me of brighter days,bringing the past back to life.The joy I felt,when you said you loved me.Stolen moments, all alone,everyone looking for us.They tried so hard,wanting to barge in,jealous of what we had.Your arms around me,lips on mine.The magic I felt with each touch.Now, with my eyes closed,I can still hear you,I can still feel you,I can still smell you.Even though,I know the truth.You aren't coming back.There is no return.
Eternally YoursAt times it seems as ifit were only yesterday we met.The time has passed so quickly,days, months, even years, becominga blur of a shared reality.Others dream of a love like ours.Timeless, perfect, true.Never was there a doubt,we were meant for one another.There can be no others,not for us.Our hearts, our souls,so deeply entwinedone about the other,it would be impossible to knowwhere one begins,where the other ends.All around us, others age,their love, their beautyfades, withers and dieslike the roses in winter.But we do not,ours is a love to outlast time,and I will always be...Eternally yours.
Your WordsA touch, a kiss, a smile.Your words, encouraging.Constantly telling me,how wonderful,how beautiful,how talented,I am.But am I really?Or is it just how you see me?So many moments,just us two,no one else around.You cuddle me,you kiss me,you hold me.Each moment precious.You say you love me,every chance you get.But do you really?Or is just what you think I want to hear?How will I ever know?I guess I'll just have totake it on faith,and hope you don't break me.
No GoodYou're no good for me,I know this,I've told myself this,time and again.And yet...I return to you,and all you have to dois smile and say my name.I'm like an alcoholic,like an addict,I keep going backto the one who hurts me most.I know you can't love me,not the way that I love you.And yet...I keep hoping, keep wantingyou to love me,you to want me,you to need me.To have you crave meas strongly as I do you.This love is poisonous,so toxic to my heart,and I still cannot stop.Even though I know,you're no good for me.
My DarknessYou see only the light in my eyes,you cannot see what's behind them.Funny how they sayeyes are the windows to the soul.Guess I have better shutters.I cannot let you,will not let you,see what lays behind my eyes.The darkness within is mine,and mine alone to bear.You cannot shine yourlittle light in there,cannot brighten whatI keep locked away.Inside is truly a frightening place,a veritable kingdom ofcreatures, monsters,all manner of fears.All are me, and none are.The shades within are all thatprotect you, guard you,from me.You could not handle whatI hold within me,it would consume you,eat you whole and spit you out again.Leaving you hollow and empty.So it's best not to pick through my mind.Leave the gates alone,lest you let the darkness of my soulout to play, out to feed.
FreefallI fell into lovewith astonishing ease.After years of believingthat one such as Icould never be caught,it encompassed my world.Always I had been the oneto hold my heart inviolate.Lovers were left graspingfor my ephemeral affections,while I danced away,my emotions untouched.All it took was a kiss,one gentle kiss that beliedthe devastation that would follow.Bereft, heart rent like tattered silk,when you danced away from me,your emotions untouched.And here I remainwondering if, like me,you will someday fallwith the same ease,and the same shatteringof your soul upon impact.