At times like this,
I feel so alone,
I know you're here,
I know you love me.
Yet still I feel withdrawn,
cloaked within myself,
hiding.
I long to be...
wanted,
desired,
liked,
loved.
It is like a drug,
I cannot quit.
Maybe it's the depression,
but when I'm like this,
there are two drugs I crave,
love and solitude.
Torn between being alone,
so you won't see the pain,
and being loved enough
to erase the pain.
Each day it grows,
worse and worse,
needing more and more,
until I drain you dry,
with nothing
left to give.
Waiting for you...
to touch me,
to want me,
to hold me,
to love me.
At tim
The Warrior's Quandy by Faoiltiarna-Wolf, literature
Literature
The Warrior's Quandy
I hear the drums, the chanting,
far behind me, near the camp.
I sit alone, under Grandmother Moon.
I need to think.
Which path is right?
Which path is wrong?
Will we, the First People,
regret this way we forge?
The elders counsel waiting,
the younger feel the flames of war,
they hear the call of the drums.
The white devils make many promises,
but the only ones they keep involve violence.
So many of our people, not just warriors,
woman and children, slain as well,
left to rot, lost to history.
We've been driven from our lands,
so many times,
uprooted from our past.
What will the future hold?
Will our ways die?
Our
Our situation is
more than complicated.
An intricate puzzle
of millions of pieces.
You're half a world
away from me.
Always taking,
never giving.
I never complain
not to you,
not outloud.
But to myself,
I wonder,
why must it be
so complicated.
You call me your
'little sweetheart'
When we're alone.
Never where anyone
might hear you.
I almost expect you
to look from left to right.
Making sure no one
is around.
Are you ashamed of me?
Is that what it is?
My love is not good enough?
I give you all my time,
and you hide me away.
Even a doll gets shown off,
every now and again,
but not me.
We're alone now,
no one is around
to hear you call me
your little sweetheart.
A lonesome wind carrying the sound,
songs that only wolves can understand.
The gentle cool touch of moon's pale light,
tracing the shapes of the priestesses
in light and shadow play.
Only the two dancing, arms upraised.
Calling out in prayer, in triumph.
Rejoicing for their freedom,
asking for a good hunt.
Thanking for the gifts She gives.
Ears, sharp, hearing every sound.
Eyes able to pierce the shadows,
unfazed by the play of colors.
Noses built to scent any trail.
All better than mere human form.
Swiftness of foot, sharpness of fang.
Ready to hunt, to feed.
Taking only what they need.
Offering up their thanks with
I prepare for the worst,
but hope for the best.
I prepared for the news,
but hoped it was not true.
I prepare the shrouds,
but hope she'll not need them.
I prepare the phone tree,
but hope I'll not have to call.
I've prepared the songs,
but hope I'll not need to sing.
I've accepted that she's made her peace,
but I still hope she'll never just give up.
I know I may never see her again,
but I hope to hold her one last time.
I know I may not get to kiss her again,
but I hope to stroke her cheek.
I know how brave she really is,
but I hoped she'd not have to prove it.
This is how my people, my family,
deal with
Letter to my Heartbreak by Faoiltiarna-Wolf, literature
Literature
Letter to my Heartbreak
To my Heartbreak,
This is hard to write, but I have to. There is a lot I need to get off my chest before it eats me alive. I know you won't read this, may never even see it. Even if I sent it to you...
For months, almost a year, of my life, I've given. My time, my heart, whatever you asked that was in my power to give. I've made time for you, gave you room in my heart. And at first, you seemed to as well. We talked for hours on the phone, online, everyday. When my cat died, you canceled your plans and spent time with me.
You've told me that you care about me, very much, that you're very fond of me. And when you're drunk, you tell me you lo
A need to escape,
A need to run,
A need to be free.
My heart is tight
within my chest,
as I look to the mountains,
so far from me.
A taste of freedom,
my soul longs for,
seemingly out of reach.
If only I had wings,
to carry me across
the still waters,
to carry me away
from this dead life.
Tired of my feet
feeling parched earth,
I want to feel the grass,
see the trees,
smell the flowers.
I want to touch the sky
and break away.
At times like this,
I feel so alone,
I know you're here,
I know you love me.
Yet still I feel withdrawn,
cloaked within myself,
hiding.
I long to be...
wanted,
desired,
liked,
loved.
It is like a drug,
I cannot quit.
Maybe it's the depression,
but when I'm like this,
there are two drugs I crave,
love and solitude.
Torn between being alone,
so you won't see the pain,
and being loved enough
to erase the pain.
Each day it grows,
worse and worse,
needing more and more,
until I drain you dry,
with nothing
left to give.
Waiting for you...
to touch me,
to want me,
to hold me,
to love me.
At tim
The Warrior's Quandy by Faoiltiarna-Wolf, literature
Literature
The Warrior's Quandy
I hear the drums, the chanting,
far behind me, near the camp.
I sit alone, under Grandmother Moon.
I need to think.
Which path is right?
Which path is wrong?
Will we, the First People,
regret this way we forge?
The elders counsel waiting,
the younger feel the flames of war,
they hear the call of the drums.
The white devils make many promises,
but the only ones they keep involve violence.
So many of our people, not just warriors,
woman and children, slain as well,
left to rot, lost to history.
We've been driven from our lands,
so many times,
uprooted from our past.
What will the future hold?
Will our ways die?
Our
Our situation is
more than complicated.
An intricate puzzle
of millions of pieces.
You're half a world
away from me.
Always taking,
never giving.
I never complain
not to you,
not outloud.
But to myself,
I wonder,
why must it be
so complicated.
You call me your
'little sweetheart'
When we're alone.
Never where anyone
might hear you.
I almost expect you
to look from left to right.
Making sure no one
is around.
Are you ashamed of me?
Is that what it is?
My love is not good enough?
I give you all my time,
and you hide me away.
Even a doll gets shown off,
every now and again,
but not me.
We're alone now,
no one is around
to hear you call me
your little sweetheart.
A lonesome wind carrying the sound,
songs that only wolves can understand.
The gentle cool touch of moon's pale light,
tracing the shapes of the priestesses
in light and shadow play.
Only the two dancing, arms upraised.
Calling out in prayer, in triumph.
Rejoicing for their freedom,
asking for a good hunt.
Thanking for the gifts She gives.
Ears, sharp, hearing every sound.
Eyes able to pierce the shadows,
unfazed by the play of colors.
Noses built to scent any trail.
All better than mere human form.
Swiftness of foot, sharpness of fang.
Ready to hunt, to feed.
Taking only what they need.
Offering up their thanks with
I prepare for the worst,
but hope for the best.
I prepared for the news,
but hoped it was not true.
I prepare the shrouds,
but hope she'll not need them.
I prepare the phone tree,
but hope I'll not have to call.
I've prepared the songs,
but hope I'll not need to sing.
I've accepted that she's made her peace,
but I still hope she'll never just give up.
I know I may never see her again,
but I hope to hold her one last time.
I know I may not get to kiss her again,
but I hope to stroke her cheek.
I know how brave she really is,
but I hoped she'd not have to prove it.
This is how my people, my family,
deal with
Letter to my Heartbreak by Faoiltiarna-Wolf, literature
Literature
Letter to my Heartbreak
To my Heartbreak,
This is hard to write, but I have to. There is a lot I need to get off my chest before it eats me alive. I know you won't read this, may never even see it. Even if I sent it to you...
For months, almost a year, of my life, I've given. My time, my heart, whatever you asked that was in my power to give. I've made time for you, gave you room in my heart. And at first, you seemed to as well. We talked for hours on the phone, online, everyday. When my cat died, you canceled your plans and spent time with me.
You've told me that you care about me, very much, that you're very fond of me. And when you're drunk, you tell me you lo
Current Residence: Now in Virginia! deviantWEAR sizing preference: XL Print preference: Hmm.. Calligraphy Favourite genre of music: Too many to choose. Favourite photographer: I had one, now I has many. Favourite style of art: Again with the tough questions.. too many. Operating System: *blank stare* MP3 player of choice: My computer? Shell of choice: Mother of Pearl...? Wallpaper of choice: The full moon over Bulgaria, It's beautiful! Favourite cartoon character: I don't know... Personal Quote: Nothing worth having comes easy..and today, people don't know how to fight for what they want..
Favourite Visual Artist
That's a tough one.. too many.
Favourite Movies
Many, but .. Boondock Saints.
Favourite Bands / Musical Artists
WAAAAAY too many to list.
Favourite Writers
Shakespeare is one of my all-time favorites, but there are many, many more.
Favourite Games
Too many to list..
Favourite Gaming Platform
Tough choice..
Tools of the Trade
Pens, pencils and notebooks.. as well as the occasional keyboard and added a Wacomb tablet to that..
Unfortunately, there is only a little new to report, sadly.
1. I have finished my bachelors in Psychology with a 3.99, Summa Cum Laude and am currently working on my Masters of Science in Mental Health Counseling before I move on to my Ph.D. hopefully in Clinical Psychology! As we all know, this takes it's toll on my ability or time to write, and I apologize profusely.
2. I have divorced and moved on with my life. Currently I am living in Virginia with my fiance, no date set yet, but hoping.
Also hoping that at some point I'll find a little time to flex my writing muscles!
I would like to thank everyone for the birthday wishes, and fa
Today is a special day worthy of celebration--because you are a special person worthy of celebration, and it is your birthday. You in all the universe are a unique product of unique experience that have shaped a unique and compelling perspective. You merit interest and attention; you merit praise. Your presence in this shared reality makes that reality a better place. For that, and your brave and generous sharing of the products of your experiences and creativity, I pause to note that I rejoice in you, and wish you a truly HAPPY BIRTHDAY!