I Feel

At times like this,
I feel so alone,
I know you're here,
I know you love me.
Yet still I feel withdrawn,
cloaked within myself,
hiding.
I long to be...
wanted,
desired,
liked,
loved.
It is like a drug,
I cannot quit.
Maybe it's the depression,
but when I'm like this,
there are two drugs I crave,
love and solitude.
Torn between being alone,
so you won't see the pain,
and being loved enough
to erase the pain.
Each day it grows,
worse and worse,
needing more and more,
until I drain you dry,
with nothing
left to give.
Waiting for you...
to touch me,
to want me,
to hold me,
to love me.
At times like this,
I feel so alone.
Even knowing you're here,
even knowing you love me.
I'm still withdrawn,
still cloaked,
still hiding.